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These awards, administered by the Annals of Improbable Research, a science humor magazine that covers real experiments and studies, are celebrated annually at a ceremony at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Winning is considered by some, if not most, of the recipients to be “a dubious distinction.”

1. There She Blows!

A study describing a method for collecting whale mucous by using a remote-control helicopter.  ‘Snot easy, but somebody’s got to monitor pathogens dangerous to cetacean health. (Won by a team of British and Mexican scientists.)

2. Deep Breath!

The discovery is that roller-coaster riding can be a treatment for symptoms of asthma.  Trouble breathing? Try dropping 208 feet at 73mph, or read the abstract . (Won by two psychologists from the Netherlands.)

2. Slip, Don’t Slide

A study demonstrating that people slip and fall less often on ice when they wear their socks on the outside of their shoes.  Make sure you’ve got your socks on when you read this , or  you might fall flat on your face from laughter at the though of people actually doing this. (Won by three researchers from New Zealand.)

4. Moooove Over!

A study showing that cows with names give more milk than nameless bovines.  Thanks, Bessie! (Won by two British researchers.)

5. Protective Apparel

The invention of a brassiere that, in an emergency, can be quickly converted into two protective face masks—one for the wearer and one for a bystander. (Won by three American public health scientists, who were also granted a patent for the device.) You can buy your own for your upcoming family vacation to Chernobyl, which is where the inventor got the idea.

A FINAL THOUGHT How is it that we put a man on the Moon before we figured out that it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?